The Start

The first month of the New Year is already gone and I am still not over the after effects of the New Year party. Time has always got better of me when it comes to the running part, and as a result I consider it as my enemy and I have been killing it from the inception. We are into the beautiful month of February and the Venus in me suddenly gets that threshold energy required for ignition and go on an over drive mode. The month of February with love not only in the air but also in emotion, infact every possible motion inspired me to write something. Love the most pure emotion and thus February being the purest of month, spreading love and binding hearts. Many people set hopes on the month of February to get someone special or wait for the past to come to sand again. I just close my eyes to get drowned in something too good to be true.

She wanted some peace and I needed some driving force to channel my thoughts into words..
We both met, talked and went to a coffee house. She peacefully sat and drank her coffee and I just captured her beauty in the most well-intentioned words…Her beautiful silence made me dream with open eyes or in others words I looked at her without a wink. After an hour of flirting with emotions, we left but not before presenting her with her words just put together is a song which will rhyme in the tone of music coming from disturbing the most lyrical chords attached to her heart and my words. The writer in me will not limit the meeting to few words, so here it goes.

As I mentioned she wanted some peace and I wanted to drown in the beauty of someone to overcome the creative block that has hindered the flow of words for days. Yes the ingredients of a perfect date were there and thus pushed me to ask her out for a coffee. We have never been very good friends but of late we both found ourselves very close to each other but still that closeness had nothing to do with the usual attraction part. To sum it up, after a gap of almost a year I was accompanied by someone to the place that brings out the best in me.

We took our seat in the most comfortable corner of the café with the sunlight lighting up our table. The winter and sun is a magical combination for people like us, nothing brings more joy than to relax under the sun with cold breeze of winter ruffling up your senses. We had the best place in the house, away from crowd and strong aroma of coffee just adding the missing part to the environment. Accompanying her was a book named Norwegian Wood, looking at the cover of it just brought back all memories associated while reading it. We had a brief discussion on the characters of the book and then she warned me against ruining the suspense of the book (the lighter part of it was that the book had none).

IMG_6430

She had a comely figure but what caught my attention was a saffron tint in her complexion. The eyebrows were crescent in shape and pointed inwards as soon as she caught me staring at her. Those swaying black hairs tumbling over her shoulder were enough for a person like me to get attracted to the beauty. Her lilac soft heart shaped lips and sugary voice were enough for me to get mesmerized by her presence. Adding to that the stain that her lips were leaving on the cup were driving me crazy. For a minute or so I wanted to be that cup so that I can taste those adorable lips.

After about an hour of drawing different pictures and arranging them to form a meaningful sequence I decided to give my thoughts a rest. I laid my head down and with my eyes closed I was trying to evince that connection or conversation with the invisible characters of my life. Seeing me she asked to get up and concentrate on writing the thing that has eluded me for the past 4 years. ‘My love for you exist in dreams so please don’t wake me up’, was my reply and trust me it came right from the sequence that I was dreaming about, it just bypassed my mind and thus came like a sweet riposte. She was surprised with my reply and for a few moments she was searching for words. After a long pause she said, ‘so your dreams are ought to be beautiful but reality will always lack as me and you, always in your dreams’.

Hearing her reply, my world in nascent stage came crashing down and as I say if you don’t have a girl you deserve a coffee. Coffee came to my rescue and I again turned my writing mode on so that I could come up with something that may act as a gift for her.

I dreamed.. She conquered..

I loved… She denied..

All this time, I wrote..

And She read..

In between those moments..

My dream came to sand..

Those flowing hair..

To that comely figure..

Cheeks like rose..

With perfection in her every pose..

As soon as I was closer to her..

The dream came to an end..

Probably creating a stir..

Writing this epistle,

I can picture her face..

My heart has remained still,

Lost in that beautiful trace..

 

And after fifteen minutes of my tussle with words, I came up with something and not disturbing her while she was reading, I left the place leaving the above rhyme for her to read. Not expecting anything from her I went home but sometimes the less you expect the more you get…

P.S. Mark this incident as complete… Writing further about what happened can only yield those biased words that I have reserved only for her…

Dreamy phase

So finally an induced aberration of staying away from the thing that has always been my constant source of joy has no longer the power to tie my wings of imagination. Lately I have been going through a lot and things have become tough. Not going into details of my struggle as the usual grind of an MBA is what I am talking about. Last night I was lying on the bed and trying to sleep a bit early than usual in order to give the early morning class a try. But with high concentration of caffeine in my blood owing to my addiction of coffee didn’t allow me to achieve the same. This mere incident has inspired me to end the exile and again evince that esoteric relation between my words and someone’s smile. No prizes for guessing as it is the beauties who have a strangled hold on my words and my emotions.

72178_556928984347873_874920998_nArticulating it further, consider yourself in dire straits with all the doors closed. After struggling to find the key, you lose all hopes of survival but then you realize the key was there with you, just waiting to be picked. Such is life sometimes simple and at times full of puzzles. Though my articulation is not in concord with the above para and I am certainly hiding the missing link intentionally to just take the curiosity to another level. Probably it was not because coffee but because of a beautiful girl who has got hold of my imagination, that I couldn’t sleep. To understand this beautiful link we must go back 15 days when a simple message from a person or you can say a good friend just stirred my world and since then I am just loving the swirls. She is addictive in nature just like my expresso but the irony is that the refill is not free, you need to earn her words and some people call it hints. We talked for around 15 minutes but there was something special about those 15 minutes that have not allowed me to lie down in reality as dreaming of her has become a necessity. Days and nights are one and the same thing, nights make us dream with eyes closed and days with eyes open… Best part is when you try and preserve the dream to eke out a life out of it. Some call it madness but for me it is an impetus that keeps me driving and instills in me an urge to move that extra mile to turn my dream into reality.  I have known her for years but I was always as voiceless as a surd to tell her that she is beautiful. But the things were not the same and I took the opportunity and told her that she is beauty personified and with her every word the same gets exemplified (and for a change it rhymed). The trend continued and I got addicted to her voice and her helpful gesture of waking me up from the world of dreams.

Moving ahead and writing my heart out, I could sense her presence and it seems that I am reciting my life’s most beautiful passage to the most beautiful person I have ever met. In between I can hear those inaudible whispers that keeps me driving. She always talks about the hints that she will give but I know I am too naïve to understand those and my reason to come up with something for her. Yesterday was strange and I thought of not burdening her with waking up call but as soon as I lied down I couldn’t sleep and my heart started to rhyme. After completing the rhyme, dropped her a message and asked for the favor again. That point of time I realized that she has definitely become an important part of me. And someone who can wake me up from dreams, ought to be special and so is she. In my life she is like the sun, every day she will rise, reach the peak and set. In between the rise and set she imparts an inexplicable happiness. It’s a fact that sun rises every day and so does she. As the night grows dark, the joy of writing increases. I close my eyes to trigger the thought process but to my amazement I see an angel face. She drowns me in her beauty and takes me to a place where I belong. She is like the moon shining brightly despite the darkness and thus becoming the best part of the night.

I am enjoying this beautiful phase of a dream and I promise will always cherish it. Yes the coffee date is definitely on and adding a bit of ice cream to it will definitely add to the missing link. And yes if I talk of rhyme, I definitely write one

Someone told me there’s a girl out there..

With beautiful eyes and those flowing hairs..

I went to the place to find her..

I struggled, as there was no one to usher..

I looked for her at every beautiful place..

All I got was her beautiful trace…

I moved along and looked for her..

All I created in my mind was a stir..

Giving a try for many a day…

I was thinking of giving it a stay..

Then I saw her by the river..

Feelings of love started to trigger…

And soon as I came close…she went away..

But the beauty of her, still stay..

I looked for her in the footsteps of dawn..

Trying to find someone, never born…

Giving up the hope, I went back..

With the only glimpse in my memory’s stack..

Thinking of her, I went to bed..

Upon the pillow I laid my head..

I dreamed of her in my every sleep.. Happiness inside, made me weep..

I can sense her in the world surrounding me..

And I knew my dream was to be..

Then I met you, the charming face…

All it filled me with, was drops of grace..

My angel is you…my dream is you.

Now I believe, dreams do come true..

I looked for you in every sphere..

Not finding you was my fear…

Now I dream of you and you dream of me..

We will remain together in future to be..

Disclaimer: Facts are all yours and fictions are all mine…:P

A Tribute

Taking deep breaths before every writing session has become a habit of sorts. Probably a result of the uncertain time period associated with every sitting. Or trying to free my mind of any anchor that exists and ceases my imagination. You need to drown yourself in the idyllic place that your mind dreams and must catch hold of every word that your heart dictates. You cannot learn to write in the classes of creative writing, you need to experience, drown in them and then put it all together in those well intentioned words when you sit down to write. The most difficult art is to write a fiction as the experience part is missing from it. I prefer writing fictions as the pain associated with the facts of my life is unendurable. Some call me an absconder but I prefer not to land myself in some unwanted trouble that may hamper the flow of life. But sometimes writing some beautiful passages from your life helps you in learning few good things and reinstate that missing smile on you.

Yes today I am destined to write something about one of the most precious possession of my life. It was this month 6 years ago when an introvert approached an extrovert and thus changed the outlook, approach and course of my life. When you stand on a beach and try to move forward, you get a feeling of moving backward, such was my life before meeting that extrovert soul. If I say meeting, then you will have to go a further 5 years back when out of some forces of attraction I invited that girl to his birthday. That is what I remember of the relation that we shared at school. Life changed in those five years and every force of attraction was due to magnet or induced current, an elusive dream of clearing IIT was like the ruling planet of my life. As soon as I realized that the dream was too good to be true, I resorted to Venus and since then it in on an overdrive mode for six years.

Getting back to the context, yes I approached her after a gap of 5 years and since then I have never looked back. I still remember the start when we used to talk on gtalk messenger and everyday at 11 am sharp I would wait for her. Invariably she used to come and the sound of her ping used to make my day. If somehow she couldn’t come online, I used to check her orkut scraps for her presence. Those were orkut days and no facilities of checkins, so checking the scraps was the only source of information from which you can decipher anything. After the initial part of internet relation, we finally met not as strangers. We used to meet every day at stadium and used to talk for long hours about life. Yes those conversations left an ever lasting impact on me and transformed me into a person whom people love to talk. Slowly but steadily I started to feel the magic of love for her. Realising this she sealed our long conversations and beautiful meetings. I thought that my part of the story was done and dusted with the game of attraction again started with someone else. When I stood on the crossroads of labeling a beauty as mine I consulted her and after her nod I decided to become the opposite pole and get attracted to the other beauty.

The world of lies and sorrow started but I had her friendship still with me. Yes she was the first one to friendzone me and since that day the zone has only expanded and over powered every zone in life. Moving ahead with a beauty by my side and a friend like her was a joy. The happiness was shortlived and I found myself on the wrong side of the heart break, yes I call it wrong because the pain was all mine and the pleasure was all of the beauty. She came to my rescue and imparted a new sense of life in me and we somehow unlocked a new level of friendship. She has literally showed me that a boy and girl can be great friends, a level above the best friends. Photography and poems are the common link through which we are attached and not to forget the immune thread that we keep on stretching to discover new levels of a male female friendship (I read it as my friendzone). There is a hidden pleasure in loving someone who cannot love you back and the pleasure is all mine for the past six year and for a change the pun was unintentional.

Amiable, charming, amenable, amicable and etc are adjectives for common people but I have her name as replacement for theses and the power of her character overpowers each and every one of them. Her sweet voice makes me leap like a long lost voyager on seeing the shore. Her mere presence is what defines the world for me and her lessons (the ones forced on me by her) defines my path of life.

A picture form our photo-walk

A picture form our photo-walk

Every good thing comes to an end and so does our part of PANTNAGAR, which gave us those beautiful moments to cherish. Those photowalks will never be the same again and clicking pictures without her will no longer be a thing that I will look forward to. The worst part of distance is you don’t know whether they will miss you or forget you. But as I say distance is a physical quantity, a dimensionless vector, the displacement of our soul to soul connection stands at zero. The relation of peach and mango will continue forever. And yes I have ceased my forces of attraction so that no other beauty can come and reduce our area of friendzone. Though not no need to say this but I LOVE YOU..;-)

A DATE

Frequent traveling for a month has made me consider my future once again. The joy associated with writing about the journey and places has given way to consider a possibility of becoming a travel writer. In the crowd of strangers you tend to connect the dots and find the missing piece of the puzzle to complete the beautiful picture. My eyes can never miss out on a thing that has some beauty attached to it. Thinking of all these and life that is perfect for you is considered day dreaming, I must abstain from dreaming in the day as most of my nights are pictured with picturesque dreams. Some time back I was dreaming with open eyes and obscuring the reality that ultimately resulted in abnegation with a pain consuming whole of my dreams. As a matter of fact I have started to look for beauties with open eyes with my mind adding the rationale aspect to it.

Yesterday was a strange day, though my life is having every ingredient that makes it strange but still there was something more aberrant to it. I was in a car driving on a cloudy day with a breeze brushing past my face, stopping at CAFÉ COFFEE DAY and after having espresso shots I couldn’t sleep the whole night. Seems very uncomplicated and a usual day at the office barring the sleep part as an espresso shot doesn’t have the potent force to disrupt my sleep. Introducing cool blue in the picture will definitely add a different color to my black white story. Being a coffee maniac, the cool blue is certainly not the thing that I will order visiting a coffee house and adding a bit of dazzle in ice is certainly not me. Yes I was not alone and was probably on a date with someone who is quite opposite to me. I said probably because I am not sure whether she considers it a date or a meeting to see me getting drowned in hot sips of coffee and her beauty. Yes I was not alone in the car; sitting to my left was a beautiful girl. I was on a date after so many days and my usual charm was in hibernation and the same got exemplified when she told me that words are to be priced out of me. She even offered a bribe for the words to come out but I was certainly not in my zone. The world cup fever was all over the CCD and seeing Ireland winning over UAE, I ordered an Irish coffee with extra shots of cream. And the sweetness of her voice couple with creamy coffee was a combination that didn’t allow me to come out of that shell. Seeing her playing with her long hairs and listening to her bought intermittent smirks and with the Irish coffee taking me to a different level, I was all but lost in the moment.

Dating a coffee maniac and that too in one of the leading coffee chains is difficult but to my amazement she pulled it off effortlessly and thus made yet another beautiful memory of me with a beauty Happy_Valentine's_Day...!at the coffee shop. Getting into a bit of details about our conversation and I say a bit because my words are biased and hands are tied to give words to the moments that had the capacity to take the breath away. We talked about the long gone past and my struggle through it, though not in a mood to discuss it but still cracked jokes about it to make her smile. Making a beauty smile and adding another attribute to her aura is what I believe in as it makes you experience a dimension that even Mr. NOLAN cannot think off.  She did the most of the talking and I was busy capturing the beauty in my eyes as meeting her has become a rarity of sorts. In between never ending talks, she tied her hairs looking into the small mirror just added more to the endearing moments that we were sharing. The time I loved the most was the selfie time that had RETRICA all around it. Clicking selfies in the coffee house to experimenting with them in the car just added to fun that we were having clicking them. Thanks to my modest knowledge of clicking selfies, the poses were repeated several times (and I used to think selfies don’t require pose).

The meeting ended with a long drive to the place full of green and by green I meant the literal aspect only. But my mind was not at peace and when the peace of my mind is taken away; my heart comes to my rescue and starts to dictate words. So here it goes-

The pleasant breeze…
Sitting under a beautiful tree.
Counting these countless stars..
And my journey so far..
The dark and pacifying night.
A beautiful you, in my sight..
Living a life from dusk to dawn.

With a spark to move on..
Past no longer hold any good..
I tried and gave the best i could.
There is something in the wind..
Stirring up thoughts that are rind.
Sometimes I think of you..
As beauty is always in my cue..
Enjoying this night, i smile..
Reason being your distinct style.
You came to me will all positive rays ..
Today i resurrected you in my own way.
Enjoying this beautiful time.
Stringing words to express my heart’s rhyme.
Going with this wind, i move along.
Meeting you in a place to which we belong..
I sit here, lost in the light of the moon..
But calling you my life perhaps will be too soon.

So finally an eventful day came to an end and yes as I clearly say writing fictions is my forte. Writing about facts is just so boring. Considering it a fiction or a true incident is entirely on you. I write for the love of writing and sharing some news is just not on my list of things to do. Though I claim is to be a fiction but you never know with love in the air and planet Venus on an overtime, things can happen. Don’t ignore any mistakes as they are all mine and fun is all yours. Happy Reading…..

The Pleasure of Hidden LOVE

This will be probably my last post of the year and as the clock will strike 12 on 31st, my mind will go back to positives of the year. If I talk about the positives then how can I forget that beautiful soul who instilled in me a hope to live again. The thing I have learned from her charming character is that the most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen and just listen; perhaps the most important thing that we give each other is our attention, a loving silence often has more power to heal and to connect than the most well-intentioned words (told her many number of times).

She asked a simple question many number of times and I lied to her every single time. One day I saw a dream of her and I decided to tell her the truth. I abhorred that truth but I am glad that I told her as that has made all the difference. She made me dream so that I can move ahead. Her efforts never fell short and I was lucky to be at the receiving end of it. She instilled that lost smile again and is probably the reason for me writing again.

She is beautiful and after seeing her, my life is no longer absolute. It has become relative and the highest value of my scale is the measure of her qualities. I am lucky and at the same time blessed to know someone like her. One of the purest of soul and by her simplicity she takes my heart away. I have tried many times to define her in words but till date I am unsuccessful. One day I will define her with the most beautiful words that I know and will definitely add another part in our ongoing life.

I have tried to define her in rhymes and I will continue to this as I love bringing a smile on the face of that special someone. This poem was probably my most recent attempt to define what she means to me. The poem goes as-

as the wind ushers past my face…
touching my life’s every possible space..
went outside to feel the morning azure..
drowned in the thoughts of beauty, so pure…
thinking of her, my heart flew..
I think of you, I dream of you..

Thinking of the past, things were tough..
the act of betrayal, the time was rough..
One day an angel came…
with all the happiness and gave me some..
dumbstruck by her beauty, i cannot mew..
and nw i say…i think of you, i dream of you..

the past was blown away…
memories no longer stay..
such was the power of your conciliation.
and i found myself in a different situation..
you have always given me happiness in lieu..
i think of you, i dream of you..

u have gotten hold on my imagination..
my heart is filled with elation..
someday i will follow the beautiful trace..
thinking of you, the angel face..
i wake up in senses completely blue..
as i think of you, i dream of you..

you made me dream again..
you made me live again..
you bought back the smile amidst all the pain..
and now i know we will meet again..
from morning till night, my thoughts accrue..
i think of you, i dream of you..

If you look at the impact that she had left on me, I can easily say that her soul is as pure as gold of 24 karat. Just a confession that the person behind all the motivation is the same person. I still dream of her and once in a blue moon I think of her. Today was a coincidence and my moon turned blue (pun intended).

HAPPY NEW YEAR friends, we will meet again in the next year yes my resolution for the year will be to take the art of blogging seriously and become more regular in writing. 2015 will mark a beginning of something big..

The Rhyme of Life (Collection of poems)

Yesterday I received my first fan mail and apart from praising my efforts, the fan wanted to read the story of my love in the form of a poem. Luckily I had my diary still in place and I could type all that in a single go. These mails are very rare for people like me as the materialistic nature of the world has changed the complexion of the word success. So in an effort to not to disappoint my friend, here is a collection that aptly describes that rare beauty.

It always starts with dreaming of a girl and it was no different in my case too. I always wondered about the existence of the girl that I dream off. You call it an infatuation or something else but still at one point of time my love was intangible and it was with my dream.

As I return from the land of dreams,

I think of beauty in every possible stream.

Went outside and felt the morning azure,

Whether I will find a beauty, I wasn’t sure.

Looking for a beauty, in a fairy tale..

The admirer in me will never fail…

I think of a special face,

And find it in every possible place.

Then came you, with a distinct style,

The thing that struck me was your smile.

My heart was filled with drops of grace,

I knew it was from you, the angel face.

Your attire so flawless in craft,

Made me an admirer of this art.

Some may say I was turning mad..

But all I knew that nothing can make me sad.

You are one of the sweetest soul,

We will share a relation, permanent as a mole.

I heard your voice which made me leap,

Happiness inside, was making me weep.

U are so amiable and caring..

Talking to you my mind can’t stop swirling.

Thinking of you in the sands of time,

All I can up with is an unbreakable rhyme.

Blessed with such beautiful eyes…

That no one can ever surmise.

Hands so soft, cheeks like rose,

Best part is that you never pose.

Aura surrounding you is magical,

And everything in you is wonderful.

All these facts accrue…

You are beautiful, it’s true…

After those beautiful dreams you start to doubt whether the beauty of your dreams still exist or not and then a sudden realization makes you remember the immortal nature of the beauty. This esoteric nature of beauty inspires you to give another try and thus meeting her. This is the first step towards a beautiful beginning.

Someone told me there’s a girl out there..

With beautiful eyes and those flowing hairs..

I went to the place to find her..

I struggled, as there was no one to usher..

I looked for her at every beautiful place..

All I got was her beautiful trace…

I moved along and looked for her..

All I created in my mind was a stir..

Giving a try for many a day…

I was thinking of giving it a stay..

Then I saw her by the river..

Feelings of love started to trigger…

And soon as I came close…she went away..

But the beauty of her, still stay..

I looked for her in the footsteps of dawn..

Trying to find someone, never born…

Giving up the hope, I went back..

With the only glimpse in my memory’s stack..

Thinking of her, I went to bed..

Upon the pillow I laid my head..

I dreamed of her in my every sleep..

Happiness inside, made me weep..

I can sense her in the world surrounding me..

And I knew my dream was to be..

Then I met you, the charming face…

All it filled me with, was drops of grace..

My angel is you…my dream is you.

Now I believe, dreams do come true..

I looked for you in every sphere..

Not finding you was my fear…

Now I dream of you and you dream of me..

We will remain together in future to be..

After meeting your beauty, you hear the sound of violin in backdrop and thus making you all the more nervous to approach her. Infinite times you try and try and give indications but the convention of a boy speaking it takes a toll on your every effort. The below poem describes the dilemma that I found myself in and trust me this the most interesting phase of loving a person as there is a hidden pleasure in loving someone who doesn’t know your feelings.

Beautiful you are…humble you are..

The irony is that you live so far..

We are connected with words..

And have seen together a beautiful world.

Hearing the chirping of beautiful birds..

Reminds me of a sweet voice, once I heard..

Birds reminds of the letter which once I received..

And the feelings so pure, in which I believe…

I think of sending a message to your place…

Birds the carrier, find it easy as you leave a beautiful trace..

The message of truth…

The message of worth…

The message uniting our worlds..

Is what I want to send you..

As I want to eliminate everything obscuring our view..

The feeling that I want to convey to you..

The emotions that I want in to accrue..

Results in me, gasping for words…

But there is something in my heart that pushes me forward…

Thousands thoughts my mind berserk..

And now I know, I am such a jerk.

In between all this, birds flew away..

The message in the heart, still stay..

One day I will try again..

One day I will write again..

That day I will send u the message..

And make sure it will add another para to our beautiful passage..

Till then I will say, just wait for me..

As you still have to see the best of me..

After your countless tries, the moment comes when you start to give words to the purest of emotions. Though not easy but still the heart makes each and every effort to please you and come up with something that can strike a beautiful connection with heart of the reader. Yes the proposal and yes it is different from proposal writing that you do in MBA.

As the wind ushers past my face…

Touching my life’s every possible space..

Went outside to feel the morning azure..

Drowned in the thoughts of beauty, so pure…

Thinking of her, my heart flew..

I think of you, I dream of you..

Thinking of the past, things were tough..

The act of betrayal, the time was rough..

One day an angel came…

With all the happiness and gave me some..

Dumbstruck by her beauty, I cannot mew..

And now I say…I think of you, I dream of you..

The past was blown away…

Memories no longer stay..

Such was the power of your conciliation.

And I found myself in a different situation..

You have always given me happiness in lieu..

I think of you, I dream of you..

You have gotten hold on my imagination..

My heart is filled with elation..

Someday I will follow the beautiful trace..

Thinking of you, the angel face..

I wake up in senses completely blue..

As I think of you, I dream of you..

You made me dream again..

You made me live again..

You bought back the smile amidst all the pain..

And now I know we will meet again..

From morning till night, my thoughts accrue..

I think of you, I dream of you.. And I say I LOVE YOU

Though love is a very pure and rare gift, but today’s youth has made love a commercial commodity and a synonym to mutual funds that you buy for your benefit. Patch ups, break ups have become a status symbol and the true essence of love has been lost. Yes I am talking about the heart break and perhaps the other side of this beautiful emotion. This side of love is fatal and can lead you to limbo where your life passes into nothingness.

I dreamed of a beautiful tomorrow..

Away from all the pain and sorrow..

My dream was too good to be true..

So it’s the pain that all accrue..

I dreamed of you, you dreamed of me..

How beautiful our life was to be..

You came one day and asked for freedom..

I faced the emptiness and pain both in tandem..

The pain was such, which made me cry…

But for the sake of you, I gave it another try..

Selflessly killed the self inside me..

Thinking God will guide me to the future to be..

With all the pain I tried to impart smile on you..

I never knew u already have seen something new..

My world came crashing down…

I fell for that illusive crown…

Amidst all the pain there was a thought..

That you’ll love me irrespective of every odd..

Perhaps my love was not that strong..

And I expected more as we move along..

Once you danced with my angels…

The sound of you silence problems coming from every angle..

Once I was your little ferret…

And we shared a love pure as 24 karat..

I have no reason to live for…

As my life, my love has moved to a place that is far..

When you fall in love for the first time, you cannot get that person out of your life for the rest of your life. You can never do that! You may learn to love again, move-on, or find a new life partner but the memories of your first love always remain, no matter how hard you try to get them away. The nostalgia grips you and you try to beat it by every possible mean. These memories can never cease as your love was a part of you and losing it was not in your nearest of view.

there was a time..

amidst this unstoppable rhyme..

when we walked hand in hand..

and those flowery beds fell on sand..

there was a world..

which had love with numerous swirls..

words left unsaid, and feelings untouched..

moving together, we made a beautiful trace as such…

there was a dream…

that gave us happiness in every stream..

carrying that happiness we moved along..

to a place of ours, to which we belong..

there was a friend..

whom I loved, with no end..

I hoped to carry her all my life..

but what got better of me was that bitter strife..

there was a life..

there was a world..

there was a dream..

there was a friend..

accruing all I have become a lover…

who speaks words that his heart utter…

I look for her in the rainbow, beyond the horizon..

as my love had everything and was an emblazon…

there is a pain…

and so is the reason for all the refrain..

life will move on and we both will get everything new…

but these memories will give a smile in lieu…

all’s that left is an afterglow…

for those beautiful memories to flow..

we will meet again, when we both will be  cat and dogs…

till then I will continue to write these beautiful blogs..

There will be a time when you mind will freeze and heart will ache and you’ll long for that sweet voice which silenced all the daemons inside you. You will follow the lines that charity begins at home and will give her the forgiveness. Sometimes just the voice of a friend soothes your mind and relaxes your anxieties. You smile as if there is no tomorrow and talk as if there is no end. The problems that were not allowing you to lie down are left behind and you smile at them thinking about the undeserved value they got. Life becomes beautiful again and to your past (problems) you say YOU WERE NOT WORTH IT.

One day I will meet u again..

One day I will ask u again..

One day we will talk again..

One day you will see me again.

One day I will see u again..

But what will remain, will be a refrain..

The consciousness, when i regain..

I will not look up and think of you again..

You were a part of me…

And perhaps the most beautiful thing to be…

I lost you, you went away…

And in the course, I lost the way..

Today I realize, you lied to me..

But your tears I don’t want to see..

the forgiveness, you don’t deserve..

but life is beautiful, I have that love in reserve…

the biggest gift I can give is to forgive..

move away from your life and let you live..

we lost it in the course of time..

now I am breaking this profound rhyme…

one day you will turn around..

and see the things that have come to ground..

I will play hide and seek with you..

Because my love is limited for only a few..

you don’t need my love, i know it..

But someday you’ll understand my bit…

happiness is what I dreamed off..

but now I feel that I am shrugged off..

live moves on as pendulum swings..

I will come back, when the pain will stop to sting..

from your life, I may have signed off..

but you will feel the void when you’ll have no one to think of..

After your entire struggle you try and move to a different path but still emptiness, a void remains in your life. Though the beauty of the memories holds no meanings in your life but still you think of that beauty and try and relive the moments. I relive them by fighting the pain and writing it down by giving it the most beautiful words. I am not a writer but I am still writing….

Thinking beyond the ordinary..

with a gentle wind brushing past my face..

those countless moments of anguish..

those beautiful memories of love..

A storm of thoughts they trigger..

A question that still lingers.

Facing the things that meant the world to me..

but are not in the future to be..

Every morning that I step in..

To a never ending night…

A continuous fight with an emptiness of sorts.

A constant feeling that never stops..

Life of a puppet..

is what I call mine..

emotionally strangled is me..

but with a hope to change everything with an accuracy of a dime..

penning it all down..

the memories in which I drown..

And I say I am not a fighter..

but I am still fighting..

I am not a writer…

But I am still writing…

The dream of that beautiful someone who brings a smile to your face, makes you refuse to come back to reality in the morning. If by chance you don’t meet that person in your dream, wait for the the pacifying night and lie down amidst the stars, you will definitely find that person very close to you. The fact is sometimes you wish your dream may never end and other times the wait for the night glorifies. I hope I have not disappointed my fan….(please ignore the mistakes as cold weather has made me lazy and compelled me to post without the proof read)

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Are you STILL single? (The importance of still)

The break is finally over and I am back to the red bricked structure and to the south of my home town. Few of the previous pieces have given way to unidirectional thoughts and have been an inspiration for becoming regular at my work. I am obsessed with GAME OF THRONES and that is duly reflected in my work. Coming to the south when winter is coming has got nothing to deal with the iron throne but with that crown that every MBA graduate dreams of. Sometimes I feel that this MBA is not made for people like me and I was better served for doing freelancing rather than giving structure to the rarest sense i.e. common sense.

My life has become complicated and it is difficult to give words or to define it in any language. Though my Facebook status reads as single as going against the tide is the new cool and challenging the concept of sharing is my way of doing it. A facebookholic is me and writing status is my way out when I feel depressed. For some these statuses are helpful and for others they may seem long posts that need to be ignored. I interact with many types of people and they ask me many types of questions. Some questions serve as an inspiration to improve further and some find a way to escape my mind and come out us a blog. Yesterday I was struck with a similar question and my mind has not returned to normal since that question found a way out of my friend.

Before going any further with my though process I would like to throw some light on the recent issues and when I say some light it means the whole of it. Time is strange and a glass of long island ice tea is making short work of people…Adding a long island to the ice and tea can change the whole game. People get hit sensually and thinking of the satire in getting hit I get hit physically. Finding a cab has become difficult in Delhi and has resulted in boom in the business of auto drivers, atleast they can proudly say ACHE DIN AA GYE HAI. So somewhere our PM has delivered though unintentionally. My firm belief is that he will deliver but the question is; are the people ready for it? Politics is the only thing that never inspires me as cleanliness is next to godliness and being an atheist the former is of prime importance. Finally the smart phones have a camera with decent pixels but people use Instagram to blur the photos. Clicking photos has become more or less a habit for every gen-Y person and is collectively termed as selfie fever. Sometimes I feel that there is no use of the back camera as what counts is the front one. I think today’s world is so obsessed of taking these selfies that time is not far when you will see people holding phones just for clicking selfies. Being a photographer myself it hurts to see the art taking a wrong turn and people trending it by adding a hash-tag before every post. But I don’t care as people who trend it accuse me of becoming a photographer after buying a DSLR and their compliment starts with praising the camera which literally belittles my hard-work that I did in understanding this complex machine. I have a DSLR and yes I am photographer who believes in capturing poem without words rather than capturing some stupid artificial expressions. A photograph that one has taken of oneself is acceptable, but posting a new picture of oneself every day isn’t necessary.

The world is going through a rough time and the above paragraph is only what I can think of. We were discussing about questions that a person faces in life. The question that bothers me the most is, are you still single? The whole complexion of the question is changed by a single word. If you ask me, are you single? The answer is definitely a yes but the word still leaves me in a dilemma of finding a single word to define my feelings. If I say yes then my effort to please a beauty for 4 years will be interred with my answer and a no will add to the pain that I went through in those 4 years. Now I can understand those HT polls that have can’t say as an answer and I can definitely say that it serves me the best in this case. These beauties and the theories surrounding them have made a permanent place in my heart and are conspiring against my mind so that they can get hold of my life. Once I allowed a beauty to become a part of me and in return she took away the most beautiful part of me. Answering the question with an affirmative will bring disgrace to that most beautiful part of me which is dearly missed. The day she left with the most cherished part of me, my search is on for someone who can lend me the most cherished part of her and incourse complete me. This completion will take a long time as it takes a beautiful mind and a large heart to gift someone what I gifted my beauty in return of all the pain.

This question bought to surface the hidden pain that I have been hiding all these days. But the bigger truth is that I am still not at peace with the question that had taken me back to the bumpy ride into the past. Every cloud has a silver-lining and for me that lining is when I spend my time roaming around outer and inner circles of CP with my camera and a bunch of maniacs. For me happiness is when I am with my friends moving ahead with no worries and on the way clicking pictures to make them a beautiful memory. This camera of mine has seen it all; it has captured the most beautiful moment to the gloomiest ones but has stayed strong. My passion of writing and photography has always helped me to find the shore in this deep ocean. To sum it all, I will write my dilemma in the form of a rhyme.

Thinking beyond the ordinary..
With a gentle wind brushing past my face..
Those countless moments of anguish..
Those beautiful memories of love..
A storm of thoughts they trigger..
A question that still lingers.
Facing the things that meant the world to me..
But are not in the future to be..
From every morning that I step in..
To a never ending night…
A continuous fight with an emptiness of sorts.
A constant feeling that never stops..
Life of a puppet..
Is what I call mine..
Emotionally strangled is me..
But with a hope to change everything with an accuracy of a dime..
Penning it all down..
The memories in which I drown..
And I say, I am not a fighter..
But I am still fighting..
I am not a writer…
But I am still writing…