Gift On My Birthday

16th October, 2016.. Yes it was yesterday and I was thinking of today as my age was to be incremented by one. On the verge of completing 25 years of my existence, I was wondering how different my life would have been if I had made the right choices. Choices would have made the life easy but certainly the experience factor would have taken a dent. Sudden introspection left me in a deep sleep before midnight and as the clock struck twelve, my phone rang. It is not anomaly for the phone to ring on the birthday. I lifted the phone and on the other side was someone with whom I have shared an esoteric relation which dates back to some 6 years when I used to teach her physics. She knew with my way of answering that I was asleep before twelve and would definitely had a glimpse of how non-happening my life has become.

After promising her to give a call tomorrow I responded to few messages that said the one and the same thing. As soon as I was about to put my phone away, one of my dear friend was on the other side of the call. All the introspection related to my job I made him listen, and such a gem of a person my friend is, he didn’t complain. I desperately needed some sleep and I found the same by putting my phone on silent mode.

As soon as I got up I had to do all the catching up with unanswered message and missed calls. Few replies resulted in conversation that lit up my mood. One such conversation was with someone with a beautiful heart and had the privilege of celebrating her birthday on a Friday night. She asked me about the plans that I had for celebrating the special day of life. I was thinking of answering in the most conventional way but telling her that I am not happy and not celebrating would have made her think otherwise. So I went the writer’s way and said the same with a twist, ‘A single guy, living in a remotest of place can’t have plans. My mother, father, Bhaiya and Bhabhi (latter 2 on skype) will sit and have a family conversation.’ It was better than saying nothing and killing the conversation. We may not have been the closest of friends but still her words have always left me smiling or have given a immense joy to my life. Monday Blues bought our conversation to a premature end and I was back on the celebrity mode and answered all the messages which required my acknowledgement for the sender not to feel offended or hurt by my rude behavior. I am a very unbiased when it comes to giving happiness, I responded to messages from exlovers with the same warmth with which I did to others, they must not feel that they made the wrong choice by giving a part of their life to me. I may not get the favors back but expecting things from people is perhaps what I don’t believe in.

In between all the voids of the day, I resorted to beautiful memories associated with the day. Few years back when I thought I was with my better half, there were handmade gifts and cakes which summed up my day. When I was at my alma mater birthday bums formed the bulk of the memories. But I could remember one special birthday where my hope and belief came true. I received something from a very special person who holds many meanings in my life. It was the last birthday and memories are still fresh of that special day. As soon as I was about to take a ride into that day decorated with memories of her efforts to make me feel special, my phone rang. Reading the initials I couldn’t believe my eyes, it was a call from the same person of whom I was thinking about.

I answered it with all the warmth and with a gesture that was enough to convey my joy to her ears. Over joyed and excited I sensed something surreal in the world. Her way of saying ‘Avijit’ drowns me in the emotions that I could hardly mew about. Talking to her I discovered that distance means nothing when the bond is pure and permanent as a mole. She hasn’t changed and words still needed to be priced out of her. All the while I was like a book waiting to be read by someone who started it with her words but left in between to experience life. She listened to all my highs and tried to pacify all my sorrows. Speaking to her just took me to cloud nine and somehow her effect just got the best out of me. I told her about my feelings when I received her gift the last time around and while reciting my words I could sense that she was wondering about the gift for this year. As soon as she could say anything, I said THANK YOU. She asked me the reason and I said, ‘this thank you is for the gift that you gave me by sparing your time and giving me your words.’ It was not a flattery as there are only a few who stick to you in the worst of times and she not only stood beside me but also made me recover. She said that I reserve the best words for her and I said for others I write or speak words but for you these words have always been emotions. I never wanted to hang up my phone but already crossed conversation already crossed the hour mark so I decided to break my flow of words.

I may have received many gifts on the day but the part that mattered was the fulfilling conversation that I had with the zahir of my life was certainly the thing which will be the memoir for this birthday. I have turned 25 and certainly on the wrong side of twenties but with a heart which has words in the form of emotions imbibed in it. I have received wishes in plenty on this day, some may have forgotten to wish me but as I say some people don’t need an occasion to wish me as their wishes are always with me


Dawn and Dusk


Life is like stepping into the night..
With darkness being your ally.
In that darkness looking for a ray of light..
And the light being your only hope..
There is a  notion that tells you to give up..
That notion being your only enemy..
When the going gets tough, you find an inspiration..
That inspiration is your solace..
All the while you move ahead..
There is something that pushes you forward..
That something being your source of strength..
That strength at times is a person..
On others it’s just the will to conquer..
With all the strength you wander to conquer deeper and deeper shades of night..
Showing you the way out of every plight..
Conquering your fears, you come out of the dark..
Get mesmerized by the beauty of the dawn..
The journey in you adds a new spark..
As you enjoy every bit of your victory..
Just be informed there will be a jeopardy..
Time is never constant, keeps changing phase…
Leading you to your destination in his own ways..
Time between every dawn to dusk
You live a life..
And in the time between dusk to dawn..
You understand what is life..


So Valentine’s week is here and perhaps the reason for couples to celebrate. Yesterday on my way to Delhi, I sensed a different air in the atmosphere. Sorry AAP supporters it has nothing to do with Mr.Kejriwal winning the Delhi elections as I consider myself a political inept to witness the changes. Yes the difference is because of the love that is flowing in the air and treating you with those flowery beds that you see in your distant dreams. The month of February with love not only in the air but also in emotion, infact every possible motion inspired me to write something. Love the purest of emotion and thus February being the purest of month, spreading love and binding hearts. Many people set hopes on the month of February to get someone special or wait for the past to come to sand again. I just close my eyes to get drowned in something too good to be true.

Yesterday I was travelling in the Delhi metro and was right on my favorite spot i.e. the line signifying the demarcation of hell and heaven. Absorbing all the love of the air you could see beauty and beast together and like always beast protecting his beauty from the admirers. Yes there is a considerable rise in the PDA’s that you can see and one must not get too skeptical about it as considering the amount of love that this month has it is bound to flow or find a passage to slowly come out in the form of gestures that in India are considered offensive. I have always loved the intermittent display of affection and have enjoyed it as it gives me a picture of a world where love will over power every negative emotion. The ride through the metro made me remember the last year when I was busy charming a beauty with all and thus having the feelings of love in the nascent stage. From that nascent stage I could see the maturity where we were happy together and living in the world of ours. Though wanting the time to stop at our world but sometimes life gets better of you and you are forced to see a decline stage. The last stage is the most painful one and time seems to stop and makes you remember the beauty of that beautiful soul. As I say I am an expert at drawing analogies and comparing it with product life cycle, one can find similarities. This MBA has literally polluted my mind; love in the form of different concepts of MBA comes out and makes me wonder about my state.

My reason for travelling to Delhi was to meet one of my best friends and to help her out with shopping. To my utter surprise she wanted me to shop for the Valentine’s Day as she considered me a veteran in this field who has relevant experience of years in this field. Entering in the paper rose shop, I could see young couples trying to please each other with all the materialistic material they could find. Writing my experience of this strange valentine’s week shopping, I had to put romantic numbers on my music system as love is just the emotion that is not left in me. Seeing the prices of the items present I wanted to rename the shop by replacing the world paper with gold. A paper rose will at max cost 50 rs but there was nothing that a 50 rs note could buy. Fortunately these products are not considered while calculating inflation as on the name of love they burn a huge hole in the pockets of lovers. Selecting the card that could convey the emotions that she wanted was the task given to me. Reading the words inside numerous cards made me dive into the past and relive the time when I used to write poems for my beloved for the Valentine’s week. From every word to every emotion, I always wanted it to be perfect but after reading all these cards I came to know how many bucks I have saved all these years. My journey to the past held no good and I truncated it abruptly while trying to enjoy the work given to me. Moving on to the other side of life is the best you can do but this month of love will some way or the other disturb those unassailable chord of yours that have a direct connection to your heart. The music of that disturbance will take you to a world where you dance with your Paper & Craftouter3angel. But one must be vary of the after effects that hearing that music can have and in order to reduce the pain one must remain immune to that melody that once held many meanings.

Coming back to the task, I did it quite easily and was enjoying the aura that had love in its every surrounding. The soft music in the backdrop just added more semblances of love and seeing the shop decorated in red, my heart and mind both were missing the beauty of my life who had promised to surprise me with the gift of words this valentine’s day. Shopping for someone else was kind of different and I loved each and every emotion associated with it. Finally our shopping was over and thus our beautiful meeting. One can say that I miss this part of February the most and realizing this my friend came up with a gift and that too a novel that had been in my wish-list for long. Receiving a gift after so many days bought a smile on my face and I could not thank her enough as what she did make me enjoy the emotions that were once the world to me. She made me live those beautiful moments again and instilled in me hope that a beautiful beginning awaits me.

To that beautiful someone, the relation of roses and thorns will continue and wait for the time when we will talk for a very long time. Discussing each other’s life with intermittent silence while looking into the eyes and talking through it; feeling the most powerful emotion of love again. Those cups of coffee will never be same without you as the perfect ingredient that you bring with your charming face and beautiful silence can never be replaced. Time is not far when we will again sit and enjoy the hot sips of coffee together. Just waiting for the time to come to sand again so that I can have both loves of my life together i.e. coffee and you…