The Story Of Fall

“Reading a lot lately the stories of mills and boons and then I came across to your piece ‘TRUE LOVE + WE’. Reading it I had goosebumps and after finishing it I can definitely say your work is comparable to what I am reading. I haven’t heard about your writer side as the image of you is of a little studious boy who used to run away from girls at school.”  I don’t exactly remember the date but it was in the fall of 2013 when your above feedback just helped me grow as writer. My immediate reaction to your comment was, Thank God! Someone has read it and I jumped in the air out of exuberance that your beautiful words bought. Your words fueled my world of dreams with imagination on one hand and inspiration on the other. As you know Arushi, this was our first interaction and it perhaps began on the perfect note. You remember how quickly I replied to your comment and out of anxiety I dropped you a personal message. I was very lucky that day as you replied instantly and thus started something that acted as a catalyst in transforming my life.

This was the time when mobile internet was mainly of 2g and conversing on facebook was quite cumbersome. At times I had to wait for around 5 minutes for your reply, so in order to get this thing away I asked for your phone number and I had to wait for around 10 minutes for your reply. Yes I got the number and it was not for adding you on whatsapp but to drop a sms which lately have almost become extinct. Before dropping you the message I just checked profile on facebook as I couldn’t recall exactly how you looked or what connection you had with me. Your first picture just set the tone for the things to come, and indeed you are beautiful. I dropped you a message late at night and to be frank I was not expecting a reply. But as the day had panned out for me your reply came and we started chatting about random stuffs. You knew about my friends, brother and my exploits in school which you clearly mentioned in your comment as well. Yes Arushi, I remember that small confusion that you had of confusing my best friend with my brother. And when I told you the name of my brother, you were like the topper, IItian and what not.

Deeper shades of night got better of the conversation and I sensed that you dozed off at around 2am. I dropped a goodnight message that had few lines written for you and asked you to consider it as a token for your effort to go through my blog. The time was rough for me, I was coming out of a relation that lasted four years and had ended on the sorest note possible. You will know better than me about the attraction that I felt for you. In no time we were connected through messages almost the better part of the day. Those compliments given in a flurry were the best part. One night in that eventful fall I was missing you and constantly messaging you but with no replies. The night just worded my thoughts into a poem and I dropped it in your inbox. I was eager to get the feedback but was also wondering where it would take me in the journey towards attracting you to my world of dreams where words were making those sweet lullabies for you. Arushi, you loved the poem and waiting no further I admitted that I liked you and was platonically attracted towards you. You said I was in a haste and must take my time before drawing any steps further and I must admit it was like a setback. I decided not to force the issue further and messaged you an apology with message stating that I was leaving for Banaras.

If I were to say that it all started in Banaras then I will not be wrong. Spending the night at the banks of river Ganges with the breeze brushing past my face I could picture you sitting with me and talking away to glory. Yes I have always loved the way you called my name with all the exuberance, and today while writing about it I can hear your voice and not to mention, just loving it. “I miss you and our chats”, the message I received on the second day of my trip is something that I can recall word by word. I shared each and every detail of the errands with you and sent you pictures of places I visited. There was a sense of joy inside me which was just asking me to everything that required to get that smile on your face. You may not recall the details but for me those moments meant a world to me.

Yes you would call me in the evening and the way you called my name (AVI) was something that became the best part of the day. We somehow developed an understanding and when I went to my first job you were a constant support. I had told you many number of times that you are beautiful and my habit of speaking words from the heart gave way to the proposal on the Valentine’s Day. Yes I know you asked me a question, how would I propose a girl? And when I finished speaking you said yes. The long exile of not able to get those beautiful talks in person came to sand when I decided to join MBA and returned home. I chose a fancy Indian restaurant for the meeting but knowing you I knew that you wouldn’t like the sophistication and the very reason I suggested to move somewhere else. No jokes about my red helmet, the message which got delivered late because of the network and you felt bad because you already did the same that was not required of you.

The bike ride seemed the thing that interested you and so we did go on one and that too towards the hills. To define you I may be short of words but your expressive face which I saw through the rearview mirror was driving me crazy. In between you would lay your hands on me and I felt the warmth of your body which provided an adrenaline rush. After the breeze became cold, you grasped me from behind and came very near to me, I felt your breath on me and just wanted the time to stop on this beautiful juncture. Soon we entered the road going above Bhimtal (Hill station in North India) and then you signaled me to stop for a while. We moved towards a beautiful path, desolate and silent…The path grown with weeds and flowers beds buried under the thorn jungle. I took your hand and landed a kiss on it and to my amazement you didn’t protest. As the sun was setting so was the distance between us. I could still picture how the beautiful you were lighted by the rays of setting sun which just added to your beauty. You came infront of me and with the expressions I could tell that you were asking me to take the first move. I took you in my arms and wrapped your comely body with my hands. Then came the moment which made me believe that dreams do come true. Yes I will never forget the way I tasted you lilac soft, heart shaped lips and how beautiful that moment was when we both didn’t want to end that divine moment. I was nearest to the beauty of my life and how desperately I wanted to lay peacefully in your arms. But as we know all good things come to an end, the sound of people approaching towards us just abated the surreal moment.

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Yes I know this was probably our only meeting that was worth defining but still the bond only got stronger with time. I left for Dubai and you wished we luck, we were connected by various means provided by internet. Dubai chapter came to an abrupt end and to my surprise you too started to maintain a bit of distance from me. Clueless was me but still I didn’t gave up hope of being together. I returned from Dubai and noticed that you have completely forgotten me, and with a dilemma I made a call on your number. With all the emotions you called my name but as we were reaching the end of the conversation you asked for your freedom. I was surprised by your decision of letting something very precious move away from your life and such is my nature, I never protested. Vowed to remain together as friends but still I knew the memories of those glorious days will keep echoing in my heart.

As of today I stand blocked from all forms of communication related to you. Some people say love has a face and whenever I close my eyes I could a picture a girl who I met only once but her trace just lit up my world in the most beautiful way possible. I have more questions than answers but smiling at those question or confusions is something that life has taught me. All that is left is a box of random stuff from a fatal time period when the stranger that I am writing about was the most important person of my life. Those walks are no longer beautiful and those flowers are not blooming with fragrance. The essence of my every errand is missing. Visiting the place where we first met I sit in a corner, I notice a faint me walking past with that jubilant smile. I see a young boy holding hands of a beautiful girl, as I move I see and relive each and every moment spent here….A sudden cry breaks my dream, these moments will never come to sand again…

I think life has separated us, and we will end up in totally different places, I’ll always remember when our paths aligned from the period of time- and I’ll be thankful for that. And hope that, wherever you are, you’ll be thankful too. And I think that’s the best I can wish for if not her.

Disclaimer: This piece of fiction has a close association with one of my friends but still not the entire truth.72178_556928984347873_874920998_n

 

 

STRANGERS..AGAIN

The last month of the year December always brings something or the other and makes me think of my journey of life. Today was one such day when I woke up with some unusual feeling characterized by an emotional outbreak. As the day grew old the feelings started to get stronger and were pushing me into an unusual place by adding deeper and deeper shades of darkness. To free my mind of all the biases I decided to take an errand, with a cold wind brushing my face I thought of memories associated with this month. Suddenly to my surprise I could only manage to see a face and thus evincing the magical connection that I had with this day. The memories of pain are still fresh, it was never always about the pain and frankly I couldn’t remember when it was not but surely not always about the pain. She was amazing, my unicorn and a girl I thought existed in dreams. As we moved from one stage to another of the relation, the game of expectations got better of us and we lost it in the midway.

I faintly remember that day after the Christmas celebration when it all happened. Six years back on this very day there was something that was not allowing me to lie down. I was in love or was about to fall in one and thus the reason for all the anxiety. The cake, wine and dinner all were taken care but the feelings in my heart stayed and were trying to find a way out through the words that I was mincing. It was 2am in the night when I received the message from my fairytale’s angel that she has returned from the hospital and was feeling lonely. You all must be wondering where this hospital came from, after the dinner she started vomiting and owing to restrictions of a girl’s hostel I couldn’t accompany her to the hospital. All the time that she spent in the hospital my mind was busy contemplating on my situation and stringing together theories of success and failure of my proposal.

Another message came and she was feeling that nobody loves her and instantly I replied that I love her and reassured her of my presence. Then came perhaps the most beautiful surprise of the night, a message saying I love you too and asking me to remain with her till eternity. Yes technically I had proposed her on simple text message and it was accepted but emotionally those words that I was busy stringing together in a rhyme still lay in my heart and were trying to find a way out. That was the last message exchanged of the night. I remember it was this day of the month when for the maiden time I proposed a beauty and to my utter surprise I was successful at it.

Sometimes in life things happen when you don’t expect them and my story of love was something that proved it right. I still remember our first kiss, the whole aura turned magical when my lips touched hers. Though my eyes were closed but I pictured the expression that we both were having. The warmth of the hug and yes love in its nascent stage was what we were going through. The best part I remember was meeting her and probably thanks to our chemistry teacher who made it impossible for me to copy down the notes so borrowing was the only option left for me. In course of borrowing and returning the copy we became friends and thus started the connection that left a glorious trace on my life. Spending the time with her was perhaps the most beautiful thing. It was pathetic to see guys doing anything to get the right girl and I was no exception. I started to attend lectures and giving up my bike to walk with her all day from one corner to another were few aberrations that happened in my life. From the stage of meeting, we moved on to the chase part and people call it the best part. All I wanted was to talk with her, follow her and wait for her. Every time I saw her there were butterflies in my stomach, she was everything that I could dream of.

After the chase frame we went into the phase where we could express our love to each other and when we completed this stage we had an album of memories together. From the beautiful places we visited to those serene dates with nature, everything was engrossed in our mind and became a 72178_556928984347873_874920998_nsource of our happiness. After the stage of love was over we started to take each other for granted and became complacent in playing our part. The girl who was crazy about me few years ago was the one who lost all the driving forces to be together. On the other hand the boy who once called this girl a dream was dissatisfied but wanted to remain with her. Our relation fell apart and everything came crashing down. There is never a good way to describe a relation which is going through downhill.

We wanted to leave on good mutual terms, if that was ever truly possible. We started on a different path taking us back to the place where we started, STRANGERS. The change was so drastic and blunt that we wanted to get back together immediately but this didn’t happen and distances grew. She moved on and found someone new and thus started the worst part what everyone called suffering. It doesn’t matter whether we get over the past and try to remain friends things will never remain the same. Once in a while she will cross your life again but the burden of the memories will not allow you to live that moment. Our lives will continue on a path leading to a point called STRANGERS AGAIN. Everything we shared has been reduced to fragmented memories. From so long a question if it even really happened?

All that is left is a box of random stuff from a fatal time period when the stranger that I am writing about was the most important person of my life. Those walks are no longer beautiful and those flowers are not blooming with fragrance. The essence of my every errand is missing. Visiting the place where we first met I sit in a corner, I notice a faint me walking past with that jubilant smile. I see a young boy holding hands of a beautiful girl, as I move I see and relive each and every moment spent here….A sudden cry breaks my dream, these moments will never come to sand again…

I think life has separated us, and we will end up in totally different places, I’ll always remember when our paths aligned from the period of time- and I’ll be thankful for that. And hope that, wherever you are, you’ll be thankful too. And I think that’s the best I can wish for if not her.